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So, the innocent one either walks away broken hearted, or they compromise and continue to see the person because they’re already too emotionally attached and invested. You didn’t join an online dating site because you were bored. You needed validation that you were desirable, that someone would want to love you the way you deserve to be loved. Because if you go into a candy store, chances are you will come out of it with a purchase, right? First of all, I am going to assume he isn’t married, but I don’t know that for sure. You are asking me if you should stay with your husband or be with this new guy, and my answer is, your decision shouldn’t be based on whether or not you have a boyfriend. You either want your marriage to work or you don’t think it can. This boyfriend guy shouldn’t be in the mix, only in the sense that he gave you a taste of the notion that it is possible to meet someone else at this stage in your life.So, they rationalize and tell themselves whatever they need to tell themselves to make the other person seem like their soul mate, when in reality, the relationship started off with lies and deceit. You joined because you mentally checked out of your marriage (I can understand why, based on your email). If he is married, I’ve got all kinds of other issues. I think that men and women are on their best behavior and most infatuated at the beginning of a relationship—especially one where the time you spend together is so limited. I hope I wasn’t too hard on you, or that I sound judgmental.Most daters on mainstream sites like OKCupid, Tinder and are white.And the statistics say that most of those white men are looking to date someone who “share their racial background.” That means that, for the most part, black women’s profiles are passed by. 11 years of jokes just made me tired and very vulnerable. First of all, hearing how your husband treated you makes me very sad for you. I could write an entire blog about how men and women have the tendency to repeat the patterns of their parents—some realizing it and some not, some willing to get the help they need to be different than their parent’s bad behavior, and some swearing they’ll never act that way and then do.Since then he started to see a therapist (before he said he wouldn’t ever see one) to help him change for better. There is nothing that bothers me more than married people who go on dating sites. Some lie and say they are single, and then they begin a relationship with an innocent person who ends up falling in love and then finding out the person is married.

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Today, 12% of 55- to 64-year-olds report ever using an online dating site or mobile dating app versus only 6% in 2013.One dating expert said “If you are a black woman on and you’re not going to initiate contact then you are not going to date.That’s just the reality.”To get any response at all, black women have to reach out roughly 1.5 times the amount of any other group — and they are still the group that’s the least responded to.The number of users online dating sites like Match.com, OKCupid, JDate and e Harmony now attract suggests that any stigma people once felt around looking for love online has lifted.But would you use a matchmaking site to find female friends?




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