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It’s true that if you tell your partner what you expect and they aren’t on the same page, you may end up being turned down, but in that case, rejection is a gift.

Screening out partners that don’t want the same type of relationship will save you time, energy, and most importantly, heartache.

Vannier and O'Sullivan (2017) studied the expectations and relationship health of 296 young adults, largely in their 20s, who were in dating relationships.

They calculated the extent to which people were suffering from unmet expectations by asking people about what their current relationship partners were doing, and then asking what those same people's partners (i.e., future partners if this relationship ends) would be doing.

But a lot of companies don't let the rank and file decide--they adopt policies that ban or limit workplace dating--all in the name of lowering liability.

Enforcing these policies can take their toll on a company. Earlier this year, Best Buy's chief executive, Brian Dunn, stepped down after an investigation by the board discovered he had shown "extremely poor judgment" with a 29-year-old female employee.

Without communication, however, the only person that actually knows about this gap, is you.

You don’t tell your partner directly what you expect from each other because you fear rejection.

Instead, you spend countless hours analyzing your interactions and texts, comparing them to your expectations.

Successful relationships, at any level, require more communication then the magic “naturally” implies, because the only product of letting a relationship happen “naturally” is ambiguity, disappointment, and heartbreak.

The belief in modern dating is that relationships should happen naturally.




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